Line by Line 12-16-2020
#WritingCommunity,
You are invited to #LineByLineTime, A Mini Critique Hour hosted by @graestonewriter on Twitter.
In the movie Gore Vidal’s Lincoln, the president “runs the lines” of The Gettysburg Address with his aides, saying, “I have a short short short speech, which I will try out on the chickens, as the farmer said.”
(Marvelous, powerful movie that has haunted me all these years.)
Each week #LineByLineTime writers share lines from their WIPs. (Try it out on the chickens, as the farmer said.)
There will be a focus question during the hour, a chance to share, and a time for “best in show.”
Next Time: You’re Killing Me Smalls
Wednesday, December 16th, at 9:00 PM Eastern, we share lines from (hopefully) a WIP that need a fix of some kind, but all efforts prove unsuccessful. Post those lines that are driving you crazy, and your #WritingCommunity friends will take a swing at repair.
I am using Betsy Byars’ Good-bye, Chicken Little, and The Cybil War for our Line-By-Line exercises. Byars wrote MG books for years, won prestigious awards, and knew her stuff. Betsy passed away on February 26, 2020.
I cannot remember a passage in either book that bothered me, so I will share one of my WIP problem sections. This is from Members of the Cast.
Margo stood in front of the cabinet, overwhelmed. Grandfather played the piano? Good enough to record piano rolls? She read the end of one of the boxes, “Rose of the Bowery,” played by Daniel McKinney, tracing her finger under his name.
While key to the plot, this section bothers me in two ways. First, “overwhelmed” is telling, and I need to show how overwhelmed looks or acts. Second, the last sentence is clumsy. I like the tracing with her finger, but “She read the end of one of the boxes” is not good. I want to start, She traced her finger… but she is tracing his name, not the title, and the title should be first.
I hope you will join us Wednesdays for #LineByLineTime.
Feel free to make helpful suggestions about other lines the group might explore in the future.